It was Will Rogers, Mark Twain, or someone of similar wit who once said: “No man’s property, life or liberty are safe while Congress is in session.” No wonder America has felt safer these past few weeks! An old preacher friend collected dozens of these short, sarcastic quips over the years that seem to have an appropriate application to the esteemed “House of Lords” in Washington. Even though intended to be humorous, they contain a biting edge of truth which makes them all the more entertaining. As we anticipate the return of the lawmakers to the Everglades of insanity, we do so hoping for some caustic relief. God weighs in with “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). And so we begin with some light-hearted bicarbonate of soda!
“An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.” Just ask the Squad. “In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.” Jerry Nadler will attest to that. “If enough data is collected, anything can be proven by statistical methods.” Al Gore says, “Amen!” “Are the fish biting? Well, if they are, they are biting each other.” Supreme Court selections lend sufficient evidence. “You can go anywhere you want if you will look serious and carry a clipboard.” Check out the Dems visiting the southern border. In like fashion: “When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.” “Two heads are not better than one if they are both blockheads.” So much for a bi-partisan bill. Further corroboration is discovered in “The worse the idea, the higher up the nut who proposed it”….as in Bernie Sanders’ sixteen trillion dollar new green deal.
Bureaucratic ideas can often be characterized by the following: “If it says one size fits all, it doesn’t fit anybody.” Medicare for all is lurking in the shadows. “What we call progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another.” “Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it just makes it worse.” How do you say Obamacare? “Inside every large problem are several small problems struggling to get out.” Congressional committees picture this perfectly. When a said committee has a good and honest witness, the following frequently occurs: “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.” Beware, Senator ---“The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.” Contrary to news anchors’ opinion, “A monologue does not make a dialogue.”
As Congress returns to “work” from their summer recess, we anticipate more of the same. “It is always easier to propose a solution than to define the problem”; hence, in the minds of the lofty, “money answereth all things” (Ecclesiastes 10:19). “Every solution breeds new problems.” CNN will be quick to alert us of them. “When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.” There was no collusion before the Muller report, and there still is none. It took thirty million dollars to correct the error. “The solution to a problem changes the problem.” Consequently, problems need to be moving targets so that America’s Royals have a perpetual job—i.e., income. “The secret of success is sincerity; once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” This kind of hypocrisy must precede “to err is human, to blame it on someone else is even more human.” Just remember, “anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Forrest Gump would remind us to “never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”
Self-esteem will always be elevated if you understand “the whole is always worth less than the sum of its parts.” It’s imperative to know that “nature always sides with the hidden flaws,” and “when the going gets tough, everyone leaves.” A universal ordinance mandates that “no good deed goes unpunished,” and “if you look like your passport photo, you’re too sick to travel.”
As the sunset approaches, “live every day like it was your last, and pretty soon it will be,” but “don’t worry about middle age; you’ll outgrow it.” Don’t be fooled; “if everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” There is always: “Eat, drink, and be merry; and tomorrow you will be a big, fat grinning drunk.”
Sufficient to say,”you can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you’ve got something.” In conclusion, it should be mentioned that “you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can get with a kind word alone.”